DHG Journal 6: In Job Hunting, Don’t Bite the Hand…

There is an old saying “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” Well, in the job hunt, it might be better advice to say “Don’t bite the hand that chooses not to feed you.”

Job hunting is like signing up for a beating. Sometimes you feel like you just can’t take it anymore. And sometimes the frustration just gets to be too much. A rejection letter or a bad interview can just about send you over the edge. You open your mouth, and…

If you’re like me, you just want to unload on that employer who doesn’t hire you. Perhaps you even have a valid reason to be upset, and there is something you really feel you would justified in saying.

But before you write that scathing email or confront that employer in his office, consider what you would gain, and what you stand to lose.

I was passed over for a job once  for which I though I was a good fit. The whole interview process (on their part) didn’t go very well and I felt like I had been wronged. I was really tempted to say something about it. I really wanted to let them know they’d made a big mistake in not hiring me, because I was obviously the perfect candidate.

But I withheld my comments just long enough to find out that:

1) they had tried very hard to communicate with me but some technological glitch had interfered,

2) the person they hired over me was immensely qualified, and even then they had found it difficult to not offer me that specific job. And

3) they offered me a different job later.

It turned out that the employer hadn’t been negligent, rude or unwise when they didn’t hire me. There simply were factors at play which I didn’t understand or of which I was not aware. Had I allowed my emotions to take over, I might have acted in a way that would have affected my chances at a future offer.

A rejection can feel like a slap in the face. Sometimes you won’t understand it. Get kicked enough times and you’ll feel like kicking back.

But don’t blow it by lashing out when you get turned down for a job. If you handle the rejection with maturity and understanding, the employer might just mention you to a friend. Or they might call you when they hear of an opening at another company. Or another job might come open later for which you might be considered.

Make sure to be polite and positive in every interaction, because another opportunity might be just around the corner. Biting the hand that doesn’t feed you might just keep you from getting fed any time soon.

DHG Journal 5: One Year Later

August 13, 2011. A year ago today I lost my job in Branson, Missouri.

One year later, I’m sitting in a different house, in a different city, I have a new church, a new set of friends, and am getting used to a new routine with a new job and all new surroundings.

What a difference a year makes.

It’s not all an improvement. Some things are great. Some things are not so great. But it’s all part of a change I would not have made on my own.

In my life in Branson, there was comfort, routine, predictability and stability. I would not have quit that job and embarked on this adventure. But who knows what lies ahead, and I wouldn’t want to miss out on whatever blessing God had intended because I was too afraid or too comfortable.

I’m sure Joseph wouldn’t have chosen to be sold into slavery or sent to Egypt or banished to a prison or fired from his job. But if all those things hadn’t happened, he couldn’t have become the second most powerful man in his country or have saved the future nation of Israel.

Perhaps occasionally, people receive a “calling” to make a big change in life. But I’m guessing more often than not, the decision is made for us through life’s circumstances. If God wants you to move, it seems, rather than send a message, he provides 11 jealous brothers.

Joseph said after it was all over “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” He could see that there was a purpose behind what he’d been through.

Now in my case, I know no one intended to harm me when I lost my job. Those people loved me, cared about me, and agonized over the decision.

But what was done a year ago, which caused me some momentary inconvenience, will be used by God in this new life.

It’s been tough at times to cling to that hope. But looking at where I am now, one year later, I have reason to believe.

DHG Journal 4: Even Unemployment Can Be Perfect

After nearly a year of searching, I was offered a job on May 23. The day before – May 22 – was the day Joplin, Missouri was hit by the nation’s most devastating tornado in more than 100 years.

I drove past Joplin on that Sunday evening en route to a job interview scheduled for the next morning. The radio was abuzz with warnings as I slipped past the storms to the west and drove north toward clearer skies.

I went to bed that night not aware of the details, but knowing something bad had happened.

As I drove to the job interview the next morning, I listened to news reports telling of the more than 100 dead and the thousands of buildings damaged, if not utterly destroyed, by the tornado that plowed right through the town.

My celebration that Monday over holding a job offer – one of the few pieces of good news I’d received in nearly a year – was tempered by the accounts of the devastation in Joplin.

After months of pain, rejection, anxiety and confusion, I suddenly had a shot of perspective. Through it all, I hadn’t lost my house. I hadn’t lost any loved ones. I hadn’t even actually missed a meal in the nine months in which I didn’t hold a full-time job.

God is perfect. His plans are perfect for his people. But if that’s true, how do you explain that to the people of Joplin who had just lost everything?

I guess the reality is that to say that God is perfect isn’t to say that our lives will be without discomfort or loss.

Our definition of perfect tends to be something like “Things worked out perfect for me.” Meaning we didn’t experience any pain or inconvenience.

I wish God had given me a job the day after I lost my other one. I wish I could have saved all my severance pay and actually come out ahead financially. Then I would say from my self-centered-perspective that “things worked out perfect.”

But what I would be saying is that God’s goodness is really defined by how well things work out for me.

Nice as that would be, God doesn’t work that way. His perfection is really more like “flawless,” or “without blemish” or “mistake-free.”

To say that God is perfect is really to say that he never makes mistakes. Everything that happens is totally within his control, and he knows perfectly how to run the world.

It’s not without inconvenience or pain, but that’s part of the perfection.

The day after the tornado, I had a reason to celebrate while thousands of others had only cause for tears. I hurt for them, but I couldn’t relate to them. Over the months of joblessness, I had only lost a few nights sleep and a few dollars from my bank account. Many of them had lost everything, including their health and their loved ones.

But during my own year of trial, I had to learn to trust that God is perfectly, flawlessly mistake-free.

DHG Journal 3: Unemployment Means More Work

Unemployment? Ha! I thought that word meant you didn’t have a job. But if you’re like me, you’ll have lots of “employment” before you finally land your next “real” job.

Garage cleaning, lawn mowing, house painting… I did ‘em all during my “unemployment.”

A few days after finding out I would be losing my job, a second blow came like a punch in the gut – I wouldn’t be eligible for unemployment benefits. Turns out, under some circumstances, not-for-profit corporations like the one I worked for can opt out of paying employment security taxes. Its employees will then be ineligible to collect, should they lose their jobs.

I wasn’t planning on sitting around long. I figured I’d find a good job pretty quickly, so I wasn’t anticipating needing to collect unemployment. But as the days turned into weeks, and weeks into months and I was still trying to figure out where full-time employment could be found, a little help would have been nice.

There are many ways to attack unemployment, which I’ll address later, but my advice is this:

First, know everything about your situation and get prepared before it happens. Don’t just assume, like I did, that your unemployment insurance is covered. If you work for a small business, family operation or in some contract or seasonal type of work, you might not be eligible. Find out if you qualify for unemployment benefits and how much you would receive, should you get laid off.

Second, know how unemployment benefits work so you can be ready. There is some red tape involved, which I never had to negotiate. But it wouldn’t hurt to ask a few questions about where and how to apply and what it takes to get started.

A lot of us who tout pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps rugged individualism may have qualms about applying for “welfare” while you’re able-bodied. I’m not saying you have to apply for unemployment benefits, but remember, your employer paid the money into the system instead of putting that money into your paycheck. Even if you collect the money, you can still donate it, tithe it or repay it in some way if you don’t feel right about accepting a “handout.”

Third, follow the advice of many financial advisers and sock away three months of your salary for just such an emergency. We had just completed a Dave Ramsey financial planning course when I lost my job. We were working toward getting the three months saved up, but didn’t come close to making it. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Make some sacrifices now so you’ll have a lot more peace of mind about your job situation.

One thing I can’t advise is that you plan on a severance from your company, should you lose your job. Most likely, that will never be advertised ahead of time. You can’t count on it. If your company is broke, they probably don’t have the money to pay you to stop working. If you get a severance, lucky you. But don’t anticipate it.

And fourth, get ready to roll up your sleeves and go to work. I’ve worked harder since I lost my job than I ever did when I had one. Some may accuse the unemployed of sitting around living a life of sloth, but unemployment most likely will only mean more work, and harder work, for you. Think about what things you could do to make a little extra cash in case of emergency. Can you substitute teach? Can you wait tables? Can you work nights? It can’t hurt to have a plan.

Upcoming “Reflections of a Desperate Houseguy” will address other specifics about the job hunt and about making ends meet until you find your next job.

DHG Journal 2: Kicked Out of the Nest

Just days after I learned that I would be losing my job, a friend shared with me his own unemployment story.

“A year from now, you’ll be thanking God this happened,” he said.

He described his own year and a half of unemployment/job transition, and explained that the experience had caused him to rely on his faith more than ever before. He said the spiritual growth alone was worth the hardship. But he also stressed that he believed these things happen for a definite purpose.

I wanted to believe him.

But those things are easy to say when you’re not in the middle of it. Suddenly I found myself questioning every decision I’d made, every decision others had made on my behalf, and what good could possibly come from the situation.

Now here it is, nearly a year later. I can’t say that I am particularly thankful at this moment. There are still a lot of loose ends to tie up, and a lot of financial recovery yet to take place. But at least I am now able to write about the experience, which wasn’t the case before.

Everyone’s unemployment/job transition experience is different. So I can’t say that anything I have learned this past year will be exactly what others need to hear. But I believe the encouragement of others helped sustain me, and I hope to offer hope to anyone else who needs it. Upcoming additions to my “Reflections of a Desperate Houseguy” will focus on some of the specifics of joblessness, be they practical, motivational or spiritual.

In my own case, I had a lot of dreams and aspirations that seemed just out of reach a year ago. I was like a baby bird who wanted to learn to fly, but wasn’t about to leave the comfort of the nest. God had to kick me out of the nest to get me going.

Yes there has been financial hardship, long hours for little pay, and sleepless nights. There have been rejection letters and unanswered emails and phone calls.

But there have also been opportunities that never presented themselves in my old life. Not just for myself, but for my wife, and for my children. We moved and embarked on a new adventure, which we wouldn’t have done on our own. We are now closer to relatives, have a great church, and live closer to many things that we enjoy.

Think about the movies, books and true stories of adventure and heroism that we all love. It’s in great adventures that people prove heroic.

Rarely do people sign up for great adventures. They usually have them thrust upon them, without a choice. I have tried, for the past year, to believe that this is my great adventure, and my chance to be heroic. I wouldn’t have had that chance, had I not been kicked out of the nest.

DHG Journal 1: Becoming a Desperate Houseguy

Desperate Houseguys "business meeting"

On Aug. 13, 2010, I found out I was losing my job.

A whole group of us, in fact, the employees of Doulos Ministries in Branson, learned that due to a restructuring of the program, we would all be losing our jobs.

There were tears, there was some bewilderment and a little anger. We hugged and consoled each other the best we could.

But there were also some very mixed emotions. All people of faith, we believed there was a purpose behind what was happening, and that there was a God in control of it all. What could He be doing in our lives, we asked.

In addition to the sadness and fear, I must say I felt some excitement. I had been longing for the past couple of years to pursue some other dreams I had kept bottled up inside. Could this somehow lead to the opportunity I’d longed for?

What started on Aug. 13, 2010, was a nearly year-long journey that won’t be completed until I start my new job, on Aug. 10, 2011. It has been a journey that has included many rejection letters, unreturned phone messages and emails, many part-time jobs and many sleepless nights.

And it included one of the most ridiculous, fun and memorable associations of my life. The Desperate Houseguys.

In considering how to promote themselves to potential employers. two of my newly out-of-work friends from Doulos hatched a plan – to create a calendar showing themselves as fun-loving, creative and industrious.

They invited me in on the scheme. We were joined by a female member of the Doulos team as well, and the Desperate Houseguys were born.

The idea evolved quickly, and soon we had created a calendar and merchandise, launched a website and a Facebook page, all intended to poke fun at our situation, provide madcap household advice, market ourselves to employers, and most of all to encourage other men and women who might also be experiencing unemployment.

Eleven months have now passed, and we are all, more or less, gainfully employed.

While none of us got rich off the Desperate Houseguys, and it didn’t directly lead to employment, it did serve one wonderful purpose. It kept us all meeting together –
to be creative, to have fun and to boost our spirits. (I would say to keep us all sane, but you should have seen some of the stuff we did…)

The journey of the Desperate Houseguys – myself, Jim Freeman, Greg Stone and Pam Spears – has been arduous, to say the least. Along the way, we learned many painful lessons and had to overcome many daunting obstacles.

Until now, I could not have attempted to put any of these lessons on paper. But as my own heart has healed from the experience, I have become more prepared to process the lessons and to share them with others.

And thus, another product of the journey – The Reflections of a Desperate Houseguy – is unveiled.

Todd Fertig
Desperate Houseguy

Desperate for some hope in the job hunt?

I have spent the last 10 months cobbling together a living and gaining lots of experience along the way about what being “unemployed” is like. Early on, three friends and I joined forces to create the Desperate Houseguys, which was a chance for us to find humor and hope in our situation, while promoting ourselves and trying to help anyone else in the same circumstance.
Over the last 10 months, I’ve learned a lot of lessons and gained a lot of insight, but up to now was not emotionally ready to begin sharing those thoughts.
But now, semi-settled in a new town and about to begin a new job, I am ready to put on paper some of those thoughts. If you are looking for hope in the job search, or are just interested in what’s going on with those who are unemployed, my journals will be posted here and promoted on the Desperate Houseguys Facebook page.

Doulos Closing After Nearly 30 Years

(This article was published in the October edition of Ozarks Christian News.)

By Todd Fertig
Reorganization due to financial challenges claimed a Branson institution last month. The Branson site of Doulos Ministries, a fixture in the community since 1981, closed its doors in late August as part of a cost-cutting consolidation effort.

Located near Kanakuk Kamps just off Timberlake Road, Doulos Ministries for years hosted a residential counseling program for at-risk teenagers called Shelterwood, as well as a leadership training program for young adults known as Leadtime. Branson Doulos fostered a sister organization in Colorado in the 1990s, which relocated to Independence, MO near Kansas City in August of 2008.

But when finances recently became strained, the Doulos board of directors decided it best for the Branson program to be absorbed by the newer and larger Independence facility.

Started by former Branson resident Richard Beach and other Kanakuk staff, Doulos has relied upon a mix of donations and tuition fees to fund its programs. In 2008, the Denver branch of Doulos moved to a 200-acre camp in Independence, MO. Having constructed new buildings at both the Independence and Branson sites in 2008, the ministry was hard hit by the economic downturn that year. Due to lagging donations and low enrollment, the program had struggled financially for the past couple of years.

The 24-member staff of the Branson Doulos was informed on August 13 of the consolidation plan. Work began immediately to transition the students enrolled in the program to Kansas City and to move out of the 10 buildings, which occupy approximately 20 acres. Most of the staff worked their final day on September 3, closing out a season of ministry that influenced hundreds of youth and young adults over 30 years. The land has since been put up for sale.

Over the years, visitors to the Doulos property in Branson found Shelterwood teens playing Frisbee golf or basketball, strumming guitars on the porches of the buildings or lounging in hammocks under the trees.

Shelterwood, which continues to operate in Kansas City, offers professional counseling in a residential setting to at-risk youth. Shelterwood is a non-profit, faith-based organization licensed as a Residential Child Care Facility (RCCF) through Missouri State’s Division of Family Services. The Branson facility was licensed to house 32 teens and has been home to hundreds of students over the years. Parents from across the country have sought out the structured, supervised setting to restore relationships and guide their children during their teen years. For the last 12 years, the Branson site has housed an accredited high school. Students typically spend about a year in Shelterwood, and some even received their high school diplomas from the school.

Many young adults, mostly in their 20s, have devoted a year to the internship program called Leadtime that partners them with the Shelterwood teens in a “big brother/big sister” relationship, as well as offering classes on various Christian leadership topics. Because of the nature of the Shelterwood counseling program, Doulos served a clientele made up almost exclusively of non-Branson residents. Doulos did not go unnoticed by the community however, as its youth and young adults attended area churches and youth groups, and engaged in service and community-involvement activities.

Doulos states on its website that it “exists to disciple, train and place Christian servant leaders to disciple youth and their families. Since 1981, Doulos has contributed to the development of Christ-centered leaders in ministry, business, within urban centers, and within families. The word “doulos” comes from the ancient Greek concept of being a servant, which is the kind of leadership that impacts this world for Christ.”

There’s No Place Like Home

Humble, but very excited. That’s how I felt last Thursday evening when I saw several good friends and people who’ve had a tremendous impact on my life all show up to support me at my first ever “book signing.”

Right there in the same library where, from the time I could read, I used to walk in barefoot to check out books, I signed about 70 copies of The Missionaries’ Daughter. Among the attendees were some of my former teachers, high school classmates, and parents of friends who are now scattered all over the country. It was very humbling and more than a little surreal.

I can’t sufficiently express my gratitude and appreciation for the support and encouragement I received from those friends that night, or from all the other friends I’ve heard from as I’ve launched this dream project. I hope you find the book encouraging and uplifting, and I pray that it is meaningful to all the young readers who give it a try.

I hope to be in touch with many of my other old (and not so old) friends as we continue to promote the book in other places. But most likely, none of them will be quite as meaningful to me personally as the one Thursday night at the library of my childhood. ~ TF

If you would like to schedule a book signing, or would like Todd to speak to your group or organization, contact Kim Fertig at tkfertig@hotmail.com.

To order copies of The Missionaries’ Daughter, call Tate Publishing toll-free at 1-888-361-9473 or visit their website at www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-794-9.

Off the Shelf

Becoming a writer has been a dream and an ambition of mine for many years. It was the direction in which I was headed, starting back in high school in Mr. Mohn’s journalism class, continuing at Kansas State University where I majored in journalism and English, and leading to my first job after graduation as a reporter for the Manhattan Mercury newspaper.

But the years that followed took me down different paths, and the writing dream was placed on a shelf.

A decade later in 2003, I was teaching journalism and English, working on a master’s degree, and adjusting to my new role as husband and father. I found myself in need of a hobby that would energize and inspire me without tapping into my nearly empty wallet. So one night I started scribbling down ideas for a couple of fiction stories. While I never envisioned myself as a fiction writer, it’s all you can do when you have no contacts, no credentials, and no time to do research. That one night rekindled a passion for writing, which I began to do with whatever time I could spare.

Sometime around 2005 I wrote a story based loosely on my own experiences in Costa Rica, where I worked with a ministry in 1995. After reading it to my own kids, it went on the shelf with the other stories I’d worked on in my spare time. Maybe someday, I thought, I can figure out what to do with it.

And there it sat until my wife, Kim, and I decided that if I was ever going to get anything published, we had to do something. She freed up some time, began learning about the publishing business, and started researching publishers. A year later, my first book, The Missionaries’ Daughter, has been published and will be released on April 27. A dream that started when I first put the pen to paper in high school has been realized.

Of course, I continue to have big plans for future projects. But for now, it’s fun to enjoy the fact that at least one of my dreams is finally off the shelf.

To learn more about Todd’s book or to order a pre-release copy, go to http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-794-9.